Ventral snacks on snacks
Making bite-size steps toward connection
Hello, fellow Cognitively Intact humans! The research papers, labs, and journal articles of my first semester in WVU’s M.S. in Clinical Mental Health Counseling program are pulling energy away from writing frequent Substack posts. So far, I’m progressing well in full-time graduate classes while staying healthy. I’m even managing to have a life—hosting visitors, traveling, speaking, playing pickleball, etc. I’ve tackled a major recovery milestone by once again working towards a professional calling, and yet I don’t seem to be in immediate danger of reverting to workaholism.
So, I thought I’d take a moment to share what’s helping. In thinking about this post, I realized that there’s no single elegant tactic to present. The truth is, what I’ve been doing is patching together many small, half-baked ideas about what contributes to greater satisfaction and effectiveness. And that’s as it should be. When life speeds up and commitments expand, introverts like me need lots of little energy hits in between the bigger breaks (come on, week between semesters! I know you’re out there somewhere!)
I call these smaller opportunities to do some quick nervous system first aid throughout the day “ventral snacks.” That’s “ventral” as in the ventral vagal pathway in the autonomic nervous system (for a brief intro to this concept, visit the Polyvagal Institute.) I’m reading three books and recently attended a conference on the subject. Expect polyvagal theory to be the star of a future post.
Vagus means wandering in Latin and is where the words vagrant, vagabond and vague come from. The name reflects the long pathway and extensive branching of our vagus nerves. These are the tenth cranial nerves, the longest of the 12 pairs of cranial nerves that connect the brainstem and the body.
My ventral snacks are those tried-and-true methods for reminding myself what matters and ensuring that I connect with others instead of getting lost in stress, trauma, to-do lists, and the meaningless bullshit that comprises adulting.
Now that I’ve given you the background, let’s make this concrete. Here are a few of my recent snacks:
Trilliums are back! After finishing a doozy of an assignment, I treated myself to an eight-mile hike in Shenandoah National Park this past Monday. I was excited to spy several of these beauties. Taking the time to notice, snap a photo, remember last year’s hikes, and think about the people who first taught me the joy of wildflower sightings…that was the snack. Connection to nature, restored.
Learning to play “happy birthday” on my ukulele, on my birthday. I recently started tackling a 30-Day Ukulele Challenge available on YouTube. Each lesson is about 10 minutes, and I’ve been doing them almost daily for over two weeks. After years of feeling like I “should” play again and trying to jump straight back into complicated songs, I gave up and went the snack route. Lo and behold, I’m finally making progress! And that’s why I waltzed into hubby’s office on my birthday, finger picking a ditty in my own honor, just to make a hard-working man smile.
Veggie garden! Hubby is usually in charge of the veggie plantings, but this year his plate is full. I stepped up, and find that I love checking on my magical seedlings every morning. I’m a bad and lazy gardener, so it absolutely amazes me when something not only survives my care, but thrives. Meanwhile, the asparagus patch we inherited from the previous owners has started producing. There’s nothing like taking a moment away from the computer to go gather a side dish for dinner! And of course it’s mandatory to yank one straight out of the ground and munch it before I even get inside. Because…snack.
Weeding. I spend about 75% of my outside chore time each year bemoaning the annoyances of yard work and wishing I had only a small city courtyard filled with hardscaping and container plants. That other 25% of the time shows up brilliantly in spring, though. The cool air, blooming trees, and sun make a humble hour spent weeding feel like a vacation. Anytime I have a recorded lecture or textbook chapter in audiobook form, my learning and I head outdoors to uproot some invasives.
Jogging. With less time to hike these days, I get my exercise quickly and locally. As someone with HFrEF (heart failure with recovered ejection fraction), I am thrilled that I can now pound the pavement for up to 35 min, 2-3 times per week. “Pound” might be a bit dramatic…I mean, I’m tickling the pavement. We’re talking a slow trot. For someone whose ejection fraction once dropped to 15, it’s a miracle and I’ll take it. Jogging is a quick, efficient way to boost my energy level so I can be a better partner and student throughout the day.
Nightly “feelings” journal. One of the skills I find hardest as an aspiring therapist is reflection of feeling—specifically, the act of naming someone else’s emotion for them. Sounds pushy, right? But when done correctly, it can be soooo affirming. Sometimes, in practice sessions, I freeze up and can’t find the right word. The best way to practice reflection of feeling is on oneself—simply stop now and then to do a vibe check, usually aided by a vocab list so you don’t cycle through the same 3-4 words each time. For (complex PTSD) reasons I won’t bore you with here, this also proves difficult for me. So, I’ve been bringing a vocab list to my five-minute bedtime journaling sessions. I make sure that I don’t just recount events but specify how I feel about the key events of my day. I literally write “FEELINGS” and then list descriptors underneath. Both my counseling roleplays and self-attunement are looking up. And self-attunement is a must for genuine connection. So, snack.
Baking actual snacks. I haven’t had much of a sweet tooth lately. After being sugar-obsessed for the first 18 months following my SCA, I may have had enough to last me a lifetime. Unsweetened alternatives have helped me reconnect with my love of gluten-free baking and ensure I have fuel for longer study sessions. Examples include:
Almond crackers – These are so damn good!
Sweet potato wraps – I can’t get over these flexible, versatile, speedy-AF tortillas! I always add onion and garlic powder, and sometimes other fun spices.
Joy playlist. Music affects me differently than it did before my sudden cardiac arrest. I used to look forward to every commute so I could blast my favorite tunes. My ever-evolving personal playlist was a surefire way to keep me level and happy. Now, I often go days without turning on a single song. I have to remind myself to use headphones during workouts. After I start listening, though, music still has some power to shift my mood, even if the effect is more subtle than it used to be. So, I started a list of songs that give me a lift. My joy playlist is totally subjective and demonstrates my bizarrely eclectic range of genres, but you’re welcome to mine it for inspiration here.
Yoga. Yoga, yoga, yoga. Snack, snack, snack. I rarely do a full Ashtanga half-primary these days. I often do 15-30 min of mixed practice, listening to my body and stretching what feels good. And as a reminder, I’m available to help you make yoga accessible no matter what’s standing in your way. See my site, https://unscrambleyoga.com, for information on virtual or in-person offerings.
For those of you who live with chronic illness, you’ll read between the lines above and know that these highlights aren’t the full story. There are still plenty of migraines, existential crises, random PTSD triggers, and emotional black holes that threaten to demolish my progress. I am often dysregulated and forced to stumble back through sympathetic activation towards ventral connection any way I can. This usually means relying on anger to pull me out of dorsal collapse. In those moments, or as soon as I’m able to afterwards, I calm down and think, “huh, I could probably use a snack.” A ventral snack. And little physical tweak by tiny emotional foothold, I turn in another paper. Feeling word by feeling word, I complete another podcast interview…I brave another social outing…I go another month without a seizure or my heart monitor registering an arrhythmia.
It's a slog sometimes, I’m not going to lie to you. One day, though, I might just turn around and realize I made it up the mountain. In the meantime, at least I brought snacks.
I’ll leave you with an idea. Is anyone interested in tuning in once a week in real time for a ventral snack consisting of connection and co-regulation, a little light yoga, and a few quiet moments of gratitude amidst the chaos? I’d be happy to facilitate, if there is interest. Send me an email or comment on this post if this is something we should make happen.
I loved your post Lauren, thank you so much for sharing it.